Tuesday, October 2, 2007

You'll All Be Sorry

So it's been a week give or take. The grand total in donations... drumroll please...

Yup. Not a single dollar.

Am I angry? Well, if I'm not going to get enough to buy my lair, it's probably best I don't get anything at all. I mean, it's better to get bupkis than have 20 people asking me what I'm going to do with the dollar they sent me, now that I came up $4,999,980 short. That would just be humiliating.

At least with no donations I can hold my head high and protest about how the world doesn't understand me, they don't appreciate my genius, and if they won't pay with their money now, they'll pay with their lives later!!! Muahahaha... or something like that. You get the righteously indignant drift... and it's implied that the paying with their lives will begin once I've bought the lair myself and built a giant death ray.

So it's better that no one's donated. That way I get to be really indignant and harbor a desire to make the whole world pay. Plus, do you know how much of a pain in the ass it would be to destroy the entire state of Utah, except for the house of some guy named Tim who donated five bucks? For $5 I'd have to spend hours programming in a pattern of destruction that skipped Tim's house, but left the entire rest of the state massacred? I mean, come on.

With no donations, it's just that much less work... and Utah Tim is toast.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Aw, come on, Evil Greg. We're afraid of you. I mean, since you're an evil genius, who says that if we donate you won't go all Marvin the Martian on us and point your evil disintegrator at us anyway?

Besides, it's very early in your cyber-panhandling. But I'm going to do you one little evil favor. I'll link you to my blog so that the whole four people who read it will be tempted to donate. I'm leading them into temptation, delivering them to evil.

Hell, I'm going to have to donate. And if you don't raise enough money to buy your secret lair, have a pizza. Or a couple of beers. Or a tall skinny mocha with a double chocolate muffin--those really are evil.