Thursday, September 27, 2007

A Hitch In The Plan

One thing I forgot about in my excitement... the wife.

I was lucky enough to marry a former UCLA cheerleader who is a closet sci-fi geek and book nerd. Yes, she watches "Doctor Who" and "Heroes" with me voluntarily. She'd watch them if I wasn't around. We tend to finish each other's sentences because we think a lot of the same thoughts. So, even though she's a hip, fashionable, hottie, she's got my back on a lot of my nerdier tendencies.

Still... she's not so wild about going and living in an abandoned missile base in Eastern Washington. If I can raise the money to buy and refurbish it, things are looking like it might be my weekend lair.

What kind of evil genius lives in the suburbs during the week and then goes out to his lair on weekends? Am I supposed to set up a remote death ray control I can access with my Treo?

I'd say there are just some "guy" things that women won't understand and the evil genius lair is one of them, but she's said she'd be cool with a lair on a tropical island. It's not so much the lair she objects to as it is Eastern Washington State.

Even when it comes to evil lairs, "location, location, location" still applies.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

How Much Do You Need?

While I've noted that the missile base is going for $1.5 million, that's just the purchase price. According to the eBay listing, it's a bit of a fixer-upper.

I'll need funds to convert some of the empty areas to living space, others to working space. I'll need to buy a couple of golf carts to zip through the tunnels. And even if I can recruit enough volunteer minions to come out and help with the remodel, there is the cost of raw materials.

After Uncle Sam takes his bite (this isn't a non-profit, so I'll have to pay income tax on the donations) and PayPal takes their bite (between 5%-25% depending on the size of your donation, bigger donations see a smaller bite percentagewise), I'm figuring that I need to raise around $5 million.

This is doable, people! We can make this dream come true! We can create a real evil genius lair! Donate today!

Buy Me A Secret Lair, Please!

It's been a strange day.

First I had a dream that I was providing tech support to evil geniuses.

Then I wrote "Have You Tried Rebooting The Death Ray?"

I was discussing henchmen and other evil genius stuff with a friend and remembered I'd once had a thought about a site for a fictional real estate firm that specialized in selling hidden lairs... or did I see someone else do it? So I googled for "hidden lairs for sale" and found this site... A Titan missile base, abandoned and sold off in the 1970s, now up for sale on eBay. 57 acres, three empty silos, 16 underground buildings, plus a warren of tunnels.

I must have it!!! There is no better residence for an evil genius.

Unfortunately, my evil genius hasn't extended to having a spare $1.5 million laying around for purchase and additional funds for refurbishing it. That's where you come in... I need minions who will donate the money to buy and refurbish my secret lair.

If I can raise enough to buy and refurbish an abandoned missle base, I'll not only keep y'all up to date on the process of acquiring and refurbishing my evil lair, some of ya might even be invited out to be henchmen for a weekend (henchmen rank above minions).